Complain or Change It: How to Turn R U OK? Day into Action

Allison Wells
Aug 30
4 min read

Another year on and as I sit here typing away, the same old complaints and gripes about R U OK? Day are popping up on my socials. I’m almost too scared to go down that rabbit hole for fear we get stuck in the same old blaming… “It’s tokenistic.” “It’s just a box-tick.” “What if someone says they’re not OK—then what? I'm not a counsellor"

Here’s my take: some of that criticism is valid. And, also, accountability lives with us. If we are not happy with how the day is being portrayed and we want it to matter, we have to be the ones who turn awareness into action.

Awareness without accountability isn’t enough

Posting a yellow tile once a year doesn’t change culture. Conversations do. R U OK? Day is a prompt, not a performance: an annual nudge to practise skills we should be using the other 364 days. At Psyche Mental Health Centre we see every day how small, steady check-ins protect wellbeing, reduce shame, and create real pathways to help.

For the individual: “But what if they say they’re not OK?”

You don’t need to fix someone’s life. You do need to show up. Try this simple flow:

Ask with care and specificity: “You’ve seemed a bit flat this week, are you OK?”
Listen to understand, not to reply. Silence is allowed. So are feelings.
Encourage action: “What’s helped before?” “Could we call your GP together?”
Check in again: tomorrow, next week, next month. Consistency builds safety.

If you hear something that worries you then trust that instinct. Stay with them, loop in supports, and escalate to professional help if needed.

Model what you want: Make it everyday behaviour (not an annual event)

Unhappy that your family members, friends or workplace just roll out the black and yellow promotional tiles for one day and seemingly forget about the rest of the year? Well, be the change. Here’s what turning awareness into action looks like at home, at work, and on the field:

Micro check-ins: 60 seconds after the meeting or training.
Make it normal to name the hard stuff: “I’m not great today.”
Lower the bar to help: clear info for where to go and how to book.
Leaders go first: model vulnerability, set boundaries, and follow through.
Track culture, not clicks: did people feel heard, supported, connected?

For workplaces and teams

If you’re flying the R U OK? flag today without pathways, training, and follow-through, that’s not awareness - it’s risk. Pure and simple. Set the bar higher and make these non-negotiables this week:

Build clear referral pathways (GPs, EAP/psychology, crisis lines).
Train your people in how to ask & how to listen—role-play it.
Schedule regular debriefs for high-stress roles.
Celebrate help-seeking as courage, not weakness.

If you’re not OK today

Please don’t go it alone. Reach out now:

Emergency: 000 (immediate danger)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7)
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7)
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (24/7)
Tas. Mental Health Helpline: 1800 332 388
13YARN (Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander support): 13 92 76 (24/7)
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (24/7)

And if you’re local to nipaluna/Hobart—our Psyche MHC teams in Moonah and Sorell are here. We’ll meet you exactly where you’re at.

Call to arms (no sugar-coating)

Stop arguing about the day. Tokenism ends with us. If you post the tile, back it with behaviour. Less vibes, more verbs:

Ask someone today if they are ok: by name, with care.
Listen fully: no fixing, no pep talks, just be present
Act: if necessary, help them take one concrete step (GP, support line, booking).
Follow up: put it in your calendar and check in again.
Repeat: daily, weekly BUT NOT YEARLY!!!!

Reality check: Complaints don’t change culture. If you call your workplace “tokenistic” but won’t propose, pilot, or measure a fix, you’re reinforcing the thing you dislike. Be the person who moves it.

Team members:

No passengers please, culture is a team sport. If you’re frustrated, turn it into actions you can own and track. Start here:

Pitch one concrete change and own it for 30 days.
Create a 1-page “If you’re not OK” pathway (where to go, how to book) and pin it where people actually look (intranet/Slack/kitchen).
Add a 60-second check-in to your regular meeting with the powers that be and keep it there.
Run a 10-minute skills drill this month: how to ask, how to listen, how to refer.

Leaders:

Culture is a leadership output. If your team can’t find the pathway or hasn’t practised the conversation, that’s your gap to close, starting today. Make these deliverables non-negotiable:

Brief your team on support pathways (who/what/where, including after-hours) and where to find them.
Run a 10-minute role-play in your next meeting: how to ask, how to listen, how to refer.
Publish a one-page “If you’re not OK, here’s what we do” map by Friday to intranet/Slack/kitchen, with named owners and timelines.
Set a 30-day review with simple metrics (usage, referrals, training attendance) and clear actions to remove blockers.

Home, work, sport no bystanders, no spectators, no snark (PLEASE!). Ask. Listen. Act. Check in again. Repeat.