"I Don't Want Cupcakes, I Want Procedural Change": Our Thoughts on R U OK? Day
Here we go again. Another September, another round of yellow tiles, and another round of the same tired complaints popping up on my socials. "It's tokenistic." "It's just a box tick." "What if someone says they're not OK, then what? I'm not a counsellor."
Good. If we're having this argument every single year, maybe that's the point. R U OK? Day isn't meant to be a one-off. It's meant to be annoying enough, every year, that eventually we stop treating it as an event and start treating it as a habit.
Here's my take: some of that criticism is fair. The meaning behind R U OK? Day is 100% chef's kiss. Genuinely good intent, straight to the heart of it. But it's been corrupted, hijacked by organisations and corporations who've turned it into a once-a-year tile instead of an everyday practice.
And also, accountability lives with us. If we're not happy with how the day gets portrayed, and we actually want it to matter, we're the ones who have to turn awareness into action.
A Year On: What's Changed, What Hasn't
Same conversations. Same complaints. Same yellow tiles going up across every corporate LinkedIn feed for exactly one day. If you're feeling a sense of déjà vu reading this, that's the whole point of writing it again.
What has shifted is how loudly people are calling it out. More workplaces are getting asked, publicly, what they actually did with the day beyond the morning tea. That's a good thing. Pressure works. Keep applying it.
What hasn't shifted enough: pathways. Training. Follow-through. Too many teams still don't know who to call or where to go if a colleague says they're not OK. That's not a tokenism problem anymore, that's a planning failure. And it's fixable in an afternoon, not a financial year.
Awareness Without Accountability Isn't Enough
Posting a yellow tile once a year doesn't change culture. Conversations do. R U OK? Day is a prompt, not a performance, an annual nudge to practise skills we should be using the other 364 days. At Psyche Mental Health Centre, we see every day how small, steady check-ins protect wellbeing, reduce shame, and open real pathways to help.
For the Individual: "But What If They Say They're Not OK?"
You don't need to fix anyone's life. You do need to show up. Try this:
Ask with care and specificity: "You've seemed a bit flat this week, are you OK?"
Listen to understand, not to reply. Silence is allowed. So are feelings.
Encourage action: "What's helped before?" "Could we call your GP together?"
Check in again: tomorrow, next week, next month. Consistency is what builds safety.
If something worries you, trust that instinct. Stay with them, loop in supports, and escalate to professional help if you need to.
Model What You Want: Make It Everyday, Not Annual
Sick of watching your workplace, friends, or family roll out the black and yellow tiles for one day and go quiet for the rest of the year? Be the annoying one who changes it. Here's what turning awareness into action actually looks like at home, at work, and on the field:
Micro check-ins: 60 seconds after the meeting or the training session.
Make it normal to name the hard stuff: "I'm not great today."
Lower the bar to help: clear info on where to go and how to book.
Leaders go first: model vulnerability, set boundaries, follow through.
Track culture, not clicks. Did people feel heard, supported, connected?
For Workplaces and Teams
It's almost funny, in a bleak way, how a lack of valuing staff and skipping the simple check-ins ends up costing everyone, and everything. We do enough Workers Compensation work to comfortably throw our hat into this ring.
If you're flying the R U OK? flag without pathways, training, or follow-through, that's not awareness. That's risk. Set the bar higher this week:
Build clear referral pathways: GPs, EAP, psychology, crisis lines.
Train your people in how to ask and how to listen. Role-play it, don't just talk about it.
Schedule regular debriefs for high-stress roles.
Celebrate help-seeking as courage, not weakness.
Call to Arms (No Sugar-Coating)
Stop arguing about the day. Tokenism ends with us. If you post the tile, back it with behaviour. Less vibes, more verbs:
Ask someone today if they're OK, by name, with care.
Listen fully. No fixing, no pep talks, just be present.
Act. If necessary, help them take one concrete step, GP, support line, booking.
Follow up. Put it in your calendar and check in again.
Repeat. Daily, weekly, BUT NOT YEARLY.
Reality check: complaints don't change culture. If you call your workplace tokenistic but won't propose, pilot, or measure a fix, you're part of the problem you're complaining about. Be the one who moves it instead.
Team Members
No passengers. Culture is a team sport. If you're frustrated, turn it into something you can own and track. Start here:
Pitch one concrete change and own it for 30 days.
Create a one-page "If you're not OK" pathway (where to go, how to book) and pin it somewhere people actually look. Intranet, Slack, the kitchen.
Add a 60-second check-in to your regular meeting and keep it there.
Run a 10-minute skills drill this month: how to ask, how to listen, how to refer.
Leaders
Culture is a leadership output. If your team can't find the pathway or hasn't practised the conversation, that's your gap to close, starting today. Make these non-negotiable:
Brief your team on support pathways, who, what, where, including after-hours, and where to find them.
Run a 10-minute role-play in your next meeting: how to ask, how to listen, how to refer.
Publish a one-page "If you're not OK, here's what we do" map by Friday, with named owners and timelines.
Set a 30-day review with real metrics, usage, referrals, training attendance, and clear actions to remove whatever's blocking it.
Home, work, sport, no bystanders, no spectators, no snark (please). Ask. Listen. Act. Check in again. Repeat.
If You're Not OK Today
Please don't go it alone. Reach out now:
Emergency: 000 (immediate danger)
Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7)
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 (24/7)
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (24/7)
Tas. Mental Health Helpline: 1800 332 388
13YARN (Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander support): 13 92 76 (24/7)
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (24/7)
And if you're local to nipaluna/Hobart, our Psyche MHC teams in Moonah and Sorell are here. We'll meet you exactly where you're at.
Comments