You’ve made it through the holidays…almost! Well done. With all the stress (and sometimes joy) now it is the time where you promise that you will NEVER be stressed EVER again and that you will ALWAYS do your self-care… right?
The new year brings with it the promise of resolutions that we are going to make. Often these come in the form of drastic lifestyle changes. However, it is usually the case that these “new year’s resolutions” are out of our minds by January 31st. Here are a few tips for harnessing the motivation of a new year.
Are your goals S.M.A.R.T?
“I’m going to exercise more” “I’m going to eat healthy” “I’m going to do more self-care”
“I’m going to drink more water” “I’m going to try new things” “I’m going to take a break”
People are often great at taking the first step in goal setting – finding the area they would like to make a change. However, this is often where the resolutions stop! If your goal is to “do more self-care” – this leaves you a lot of wiggle room, and no clear way to know that you are meeting your goal.
A good way to think about setting goals is using the “S.M.A.R.T” acronym. Let’s break this down a little more.
Specific – Using self-care as an example, what exactly constitutes self-care for you? Is it meditation, yoga, a nice cup of tea, time outdoors, spending time in nature, stretching your body, doing a puzzle or something else? What you find restful and relaxing may be the very opposite for someone else. It is important when setting goals to be specific in what you actually mean. For example,
Try new things = try piano, yoga, rock climbing
Exercise more = walk/go to the gym once a week for 30 minutes.
Measurable – “Exercise more” is very open to interpretation, and it can be difficult to know if you are meeting that goal. However, if your goal is to “do yoga or go for a walk twice per week for 30 minutes” your goal is very clear and measurable, and you will know if you are on track.
Achievable – New year’s resolutions are often intense! It is easy to forget that exercising 5 times per week is a huge jump when you aren’t currently exercising. Instead, you can try once a week to start. If this feels unmanageable, cut down the duration, or change up the type of exercise (we aren’t all runners, and that’s okay!) If what you are doing feels good you can build on this. Learning to cook a variety of new meals may start with trying one new recipe a week. Let’s not jump straight into a 5-course dining experience every night. Making your goals manageable is important, as nothing squashes motivation faster than shooting for the moon on your first go. Keep it gradual!
Relevant – Who decided that this should be your resolution? Are you wanting to exercise more for your mental and physical wellbeing, or because that is what most people say at this time of year?
Would you rather try something new and take that painting class you have always talked about? Whilst new year’s resolutions often have a very familiar theme and follow the core principals of wellbeing, it’s okay to break the mould and try something new.
Time-bound -This may include scheduling in some self-care time into your weekly calendar We often make time for appointments, meetings, work, and friends – but rarely schedule time for ourselves. Ask yourself - am I able to maintain this change with my current lifestyle and routine? Is it better for me to attend my new art class when the kids don’t have soccer? Could I schedule in my walk when they are at dance, and do some laps around the block?
“All or nothing thinking” and a reminder about values!
Say you set your goal to go for a walk 3 times per week. Three weeks in you hurt your knee or life gets busy (or you just forget), so you have some time off. When your knee is better, or you have more time you don’t resume the goal you had - because you haven’t been able to maintain the perfect “three times a week streak.” You don’t want to go for a walk anymore as “your resolution is ruined.” Sound familiar? This is an example of “all or nothing thinking.”
We are all humans. Sometimes we get tired, sometimes it’s raining outside, sometimes we don’t want to go for a walk, or cook a home-made meal, or meditate. It is completely normal to not be “ticking all the boxes” and meeting all your goals all the time. However, it is important to challenge unhelpful thoughts that come along with a break from your goals. “what’s the point” “I’ll start again next month” “Even though I enjoyed it, I wasn’t very good at art anyway!”
Say you have been gradually increasing practicing a specific self-care strategy, or using your diary and it slipped out of your routine. Avoid the temptation to say you must go straight back to doing this task at the maximum level. Just like when you are first starting out – you can build your way back up again.
Acknowledge that this is a very human experience, and that you can start making moves back towards your goal. You might have aimed for a 3 walks this week, but you instead you go for 1? You might not walk your usually route, but you could walk over to a friend’s house, or take a lap around the block on your lunch break. You might stretch your body and move in a different way instead. You might rest because that’s what you need.
Despite what you may have been led to believe, goals are designed to be made (and the SMART acronym is a nice jumping off point) but more importantly they are meant to be ADAPTED! Oh, you hate walking but really want to try yoga – great! You tried rock climbing and now realise you want to take a pottery class – time to switch up that self-care plan! When you set a goal the most important thing is to remain flexible around and check in with yourself. Is this activity bringing joy to my life, do I feel good afterwards?
Remember to live in line with what is important to you. Do you value community, care, and connection? Do you value creativity, independence, and studiousness?
Care can come in all forms, you might like to exercise frequently, but your body is sore – so you stretch and rest instead. You might really value time with others, so take social classes in dance or art. On the other hand, you might really enjoy doing those things by yourself if you like solo time to recharge.
The biggest all or nothing thinking trap when it comes to new years resolutions is often around being inflexible. So you tried jazz ballet, but hate it? Awesome, you’ve learned something new. It’s okay to make yourself a new goal in February, March and even December!
New year’s resolutions are often grounded in perfectionism – the new year will be perfect and great, and nothing will go wrong. Whilst we can hope this is the case, there is very slim chance that nothing will happen that could derail you from your goals. Remember that “getting back on the horse” can come in all shapes and sizes, and above all be kind yourself.
Take care,
Psyche Mental Health Centre
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